Colonoscopy Survival Kit
I am a blog liar. Dairy Dilemma- Part 2 today will come tomorrow.
Today, I am writing a post in honor of my brother who is getting a colonoscopy tomorrow.
Andy and I are less than 13 months apart. I know what you’re thinking and although my parents deny it every time, I still think he was an “oops” baby. They swear he was planned. And all of the parents who’ve had kids less than 15 months apart say: “riiiight.”
Anyway, my immediate family has been put on a “Cancer’s Most Wanted” list because of my crazy case of colon cancer. They’re all seen as high-risk. We’re in the process of genetic testing to help rule out some of those risks, but until then, they’re stuck with getting frequent colonoscopies. Sorry guys!
Although the nitty-gritties about a colonoscopy seem unbearable, it’s really not that bad. You’re not even awake during the test. They put you out, and you wake up minutes later remembering the lollipops and flying unicorns you dreamed about while the GI doc scanned your butt. You go home, sleep it off, and carry on your merry way.
The hardest part about a colonoscopy is the day of prep before. You cannot eat the day before your test, and then you clean out your colon later that evening. This can be a pretty unpleasant day, but after having over five colonoscopies over the past nine years or so, I’ve picked up a few tips along the way.
My Colonoscopy Survival Kit.
Read ’em and poop!
– A large pasta dinner the evening before your “clean out” day. This will help you not be starving when you wake up.
– Naked Juice. Beware of the red/pink flavors, as well as the thick smoothie varieties, but many of these juices not only give you 100% real fruit in a liquid form, but can help you feel full.
– Jello and Broth. The jello is thicker so it makes you feel like you’re chewing and eating something. The broth will also help curve your cravings better than juice.
– Flavored tea or Crystal Light. If you’re using the prep that must be mixed with a clear liquid (they often recommend lemon lime flavor) and you enjoy a Sprite or 7-up – don’t mix it with that. Go for something you can stand, but not prefer. I couldn’t drink Sprite for years after I learned this the hard way.
– Scott’s Flushable Wipes. Don’t worry, these are sold in the adults section. While it might seem embarrassing, I recommend their usage. After so many trips to the bathroom your rear can get raw. These help prevent that. Even if you don’t opt for these, at least don’t use cheap toilet paper. Go for the Charmin Soft on this night.
– A great magazine. Again, you’ll be hitting the pot a lot. Take something with short, small articles you can read and come back to over, and over, and over.
– A nightlight. Hopefully you’ll be done pooping by the time you go to bed, but just in case the midnight run comes along, it’s best not to fall and crack your head on the sink at 3am. Just get a nightlight so you can sit in the dark and not worry about the light.