January 10 – The Decision | Mae’s Adoption Journey
I don’t tend to be an early riser but with everything we had discussed before church with Scott & Patti, I tossed and turned most of the night. The image of the little girl snugly sleeping in her bed, and the thought there was a crazy chance out there she could be the daughter God planned for us … blew my mind. So, after a night of restlessness, I got up early and started getting ready for the day.
Decision Has Been Made
It was a good thing I was up because I was actually awake and coherent to take Scott’s early morning call. He called me in an excited panic with a story to share. He wanted to make sure I was awake and “ready for this.” So I had him begin. And I made sure Mike was near to take in all of the news.
The following conversation was basically one of the coolest stories about someone having crystal clarity about what God wanted them to do. Scott had received several texts from his friend Nick, who apparently couldn’t sleep so well that night either. Nick had come to the point that night where he knew adoption would be best for his niece, and that was what God wanted for him and for her.
Nick texted Scott in the early morning hours, and soon the news traveled to us. Just a day earlier we were saying “Ok, sure…” to a process that seemed so up in the air, a process we both vowed not to get emotionally attached to. And now we were hearing that a decision had been made, the baby was on a path to adoption, and we were the ones being looked to as the prospective adoptive parents.
I sat in disbelief shaking my head, not sure what to say or how to respond. I was happy, yet more in disbelief. Everything I had ever pictured or dreamed about how our adoption process could look never quite fit into this mold. And while I was extremely thankful, I was also in shock a little bit. I had just received a phone call that I could be an adoptive mother … and soon. Was I really ready for this?
I didn’t pass out or anything like that. But after I hung up the phone with Scott, things just got fuzzy and the room spun. I tried to recap the details with Mike as he buttoned his shirt and ran out the door for work. I couldn’t wrap my head around this one. I still wanted to proceed with caution; we hadn’t even met anyone yet. Plus, there were big questions in my mind that hadn’t been answered – like did Nick have custody and authority for this adoption? And where was her birth mother? As my mind flooded with the realization that I had agreed to a process without having any important answers, I started to semi-panic. Yet at the same time, I knew the information would could come in time. And after all, we hadn’t signed on any dotted lines … yet.