Posts tagged ‘31 Reasons You Never Want Colon Cancer’
Reason #31 You Never Want Colon Cancer
Reason #31
You just don’t.
Good reason, huh? Sorry for the tardiness of my last post. I didn’t quite get to it by the 31st, and the last thing I wanted was for it to be an April Fools joke!
For my last reason though, I thought I’d take the liberty and ask everyone to take me seriously for a second and just trust me on this one. I’ve had a blast shedding some light and humor on what some of us who’ve been through the colon cancer ringer go through. Instead of sounding like whiney babies all of the time, most of us make the most out of it and find a way to laugh about some of the things we go through… most days. Hopefully you’ve been able to laugh with me and get a new perspective about life without colon!
But on the serious side, I ask that you also take to heart some of the pleas to prevent colon cancer if you can. I’ve said it before, but being a cancer survivor is a double-edged sword. On one hand, it’s given me a passion for life and health that I wouldn’t have had otherwise. I’ve got a perspective that’s unique, and I would not trade it for anything.
But, with that being said — I would absolutely go back and prevent getting the disease if I knew I was going to get it. Living without a colon isn’t always fun, and pretty annoying some days. I’ve given 31 reasons why it’s often inconvenient, and there could be many, many more. And these are the ones that are post-able.
My plea today is this: if you can, prevent getting colon cancer. It’s one of the most preventable, beatable, and treatable diseases out there. If it runs in your family, keep an eye on your poo and your body. If you’re over 50, get a colonoscopy – just do it. If you see blood or anything suspicious in your stool, get it checked out. You may be 17, or you may be 60 — but my story shows that regardless of your age — it’s beatable, and especially if you catch it early. Don’t wait until it’s too late. Take it from me.
Reason #30 You Never Want Colon Cancer
Reason #30
You will think talking about colon stuff is the coolest thing ever.
I don’t know if the facial expressions of others when they hear you talking about farts, poop, colons or toilets will ever get old. They’re classic.
Reasons #27 & 28 You Never Want Colon Cancer
Reason #27
Emergency Stops
On a walk, in the car, a semicolon does not discriminate. Thank goodness not on plane (yet).
Reason #28
Some days you feel like a ticking time bomb
In church today, wasn’t sure what was going to happen. Thank goodness it was defused and I made it through the sermon.
Reason #26 You Never Want Colon Cancer
Reason #26
The *as well as my colon cooperates* clause
For example, I had a long list of things to do today other than sit on the couch with a heating pad on my belly and run to the restroom every 15 minutes or so for most of the day. But oh well. Those $1 margaritas were well worth it last night. And if truth be told, I probably needed a slower day today.
Reason #25 You Never Want Colon Cancer
Reason #25
You’re the butt of the jokes.
Haha, get it? It’s actually pretty fun when you play along, but once you become a colon cancer survivor, be prepared for the harASSing that follows. Haha, get it again? Man I’m on a roll today.
Reasons #23 & #24 You Never Want Colon Cancer
Reason #23
You’ll have to take it easy on the cheese
I’ve never really considered myself a cheese connoisseur, but lately I’ve realized how much I love it … but not its impact on the GI track. Too much cheese will equal too much gas, or bathroom time, or both, guaranteed.
Reason #24
Coffee-only mornings make you blow up like a blimp
Maybe it was just my day today, but I learned the hard way that I probably shouldn’t start my mornings off with black coffee and neglect to eat anything with it. I felt like the Good Air Blimp was inside of my stomach all day.
Reason #22 You Never Want Colon Cancer
Reason #22
Your pre-existing condition.
Yep people, I’ll touch on it a little bit. But for the sake of harmony and getting to the point rather than my preferences, I’ll keep my opinions to a minimum. Regardless on what side of the health care line you are on, anyone else who can relate to having a pre-existing condition knows the sigh of relief that comes with hearing that someone is noticing our dilemma. Right now, it happens to be our government. I’m not going to get into a debate whether or not the legislation passed last night was the right or wrong step, but I will put it out there that I’m happy that there IS now a step and that we’re actually talking about it. To be someone who has been treated for a medical condition (especially one I had NO control over) and then told that I cannot get the one thing I need now because of it (health insurance free from a group plan) is the sinful nature at it’s finest. Whether it’s the church, our communities, small business owners or our government that is working to fix this problem that impacts our time on Earth, at least we’re getting somewhere.
Reasons #20 & #21 You Never Want Colon Cancer
Today’s two reasons are just cancer-specific. But hopefully they help give a small glimpse into the life of a survivor. No cancer is fun, and colon cancer tops that list (in my opinion.) And while I have learned to live with it and found many blessings that have come from it — it’s still not a disease I would wish upon anyone. As a mid-month message that will be repeated over and over — colon cancer is one of THE MOST preventable, treatable and beatable cancers out there. I’ll be the first in line to coach you through it if it indeed comes your way, but beg you to do whatever you can NOW to not see that day, especially if you’re over 50 and need a colonoscopy, or have a family history. Get your colons checked people!
Reason #20
Survivor’s Guilt
I’ve mentioned this before, but sometimes being a survivor is hard for reasons other than the obvious physical ones. As you watch and hear of others facing the disease and then losing their battles, unfortunate and inevitable guilt often hits. Not that you could have changed your course or theirs, but it’s definitely something to keep working through.
Reason #21
You’ll have the urge to start planning your funeral. (And all of the strange looks that follow when you start making requests.)
Not to be morbid or anything, but I often think about lining things up for my funeral, ya know, just in case. I know that it’s not guaranteed that I will go before anyone around me. But living through a major life-threatening disease (twice now) does open up your eyes to the reality that you won’t live forever. I’ve got a few songs that I’d like to be sung, and an idea of where I’d like proceeds to go. I don’t think it’s necessarily a bad thing to think of these things, but it does seem a little early for a 26-year-old to start making these plans.
Reason #19 You Never Want Colon Cancer
Reason #19
Some days you nap as often as a two year old.
A big part of staying healthy for me is getting enough sleep. Although I have a go-go-go personality and often keep a busy schedule, I always hit a point where sleep is imperative or things will not be good. It’s part of the deal of living as a semicolon and being able to leave the house some days.
Reason #18 You Never Want Colon Cancer
Reason #18
Co-pays & deductibles
Uggghh, that says enough. We’re not going to get into a debate about health care here, but let’s just say it’s expensive and frustrating.
Semicolon Stories 