Posts tagged ‘toilet paper’

31 Reasons You Never Want Colon Cancer

Happy Colon Cancer Awareness Month! As a way to help bring even more awareness to the disease and why getting checked is so incredibly important, I’ve decided to dedicate every post in March to colon cancer awareness. But instead of telling you to get your colonoscopy, check your poop and know your family history, I thought I’d give you real, practical reasons about why you want to stay on top of your colon health.  Take it from me, prevent it while you can.

Reason #1
You’ll never save money on cheap toilet paper ever again.
Most colon cancer patients are sent into surgery to remove the section of colon containing the cancer. Once you’ve had part of your colon removed, your bathroom trips double, triple or more. After awhile, you get tired of the raw bum because the sandpaper stuff just isn’t cutting it. You’ll switch to the good stuff and never return again, saving your bum in the process but kissing your economical spending goodbye.

March 2, 2010 at 4:25 am Leave a comment

The Super Bowl Toilet Paper Poll

In honor of the Super Bowl, I thought we’d have a little competition of our own! This is a topic very near and dear to my heart. Take a second and play along!

February 7, 2010 at 5:43 am Leave a comment

Long Colons and Semi-Colons

Things people with long colons don’t think twice about:

  • Drinking a large Starbucks latte before boarding an airplane.
  • Ordering an extra side of beans with the Mexican entree.
  • Going for the grease-ball hamburger at lunch.
  • Doing sit-ups, squats and lunges over and over and over.
  • Cautiously eating Fiber One bars.

Things with people with semi-colons don’t think twice about:

  • Passing on the “camping in the woods” trip.
  • Paying extra for expensive toilet paper.
  • Cursing when a guest bathroom doesn’t have spray.
  • Changing a dirty diaper.
  • Cautiously eating Fiber One bars.

November 12, 2009 at 4:18 pm Leave a comment


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