Author Archive

Burgess Family Photo Shoot

Thanks to our close friends at Fantasma Imagery, we had some photos taken to celebrate our “It’s Official!” adoption day. Not much to say except wowza – we were blessed with one beautiful baby.

Enjoy some of my favorites!

September 29, 2011 at 11:56 pm 2 comments

Holding It Through Costco

For those of you who missed my poop posts, well here ya go.

So I made it through Costco tonight. We’ll just leave it at that. For those of you who also suffer from, er, urgency issues, you know what I mean. And all in the Crohn’s club yells “yeahhhh baby.” Tonight’s episode of trying to make it through the store gave me flashbacks to last Christmas. Let’s just say that I have used every restroom between Springfield and Clinton. And I’ve never been more thankful my hubby had family in Clinton. Ahh memories. His grandpa had to give me his prescription anti-crap pills. Now when I’m taking that sort of stuff, it’s bad.

So why bore you (or I guess for some of you this is interesting) with my poop-a-palooza stories? Well, it’s just to push myself to keep bringing such an uncomfortable, unwanted topic out in the open. Because for years I wouldn’t talk about poop. I couldn’t imagine being married and pooping in the same house as someone. And my phobia of poop wound me up with stage III colon cancer because I wouldn’t talk about it.

So there ya go, a poop post. Oh – and here’s a baby picture, just for making it through all of this bathroom humor. HAHA – get it. Man I crack myself up. HAHA get it, crack? Ok I’m done.

 

I bet I get this look more and more as she realizes her mama's a poop blogger....


September 9, 2011 at 9:34 pm Leave a comment

Survivor Playlist

So I took a jog around the neighborhood a few nights ago. And then again at the gym last night (well, I ran at the gym, not around the gym.) And I realized something revolutionary. A good playlist can make all the difference in the world when running. (I realize that’s why the whole iPod craze caught on, but bear with me, I’m slow…)

So, in addition to some workout and worship playlists (don’t judge – they both help me keep going when I’m jogging) – I’ve created a survivor playlist. And let me tell you, it’s one of the best things in the world. If I’m having a rough day, running up a hill, having to head to the doctor’s office or even have a routine scan, I’ll put on my playlist and start jamming away. The songs are very carefully selected, and either bring back a memory of why to persevere, or just bluntly tell me to keep going.

Danielle’s Survivor Playlist

I couldn’t tell you I had a playlist without telling you what’s on it! Here are the songs I’ve added to my “survivor playlist” so far, and I’m sure there will be many more! Also see that although one of my biggest pet peeves in life is internet videos, I’ve decided to be trendy yet again and post links to videos so you can hear the songs and have something to look at. (And yes, I realize that YouTube is nothing new, either…) Maybe I’ll catch on sooner one of these days.

Enjoy!

Stronger | Kanye West

Survivor | Destiny’s Child

We Trying To Stay Alive | Wyclef John

I Will Survive | Gloria Gaynor

Shackles | Mary Mary

Stellar | Incubus (thanks to Guitar Hero, this one’s on there.)

Beautiful Day | U2

Lucky | Jason Mraz & Colbie Caillat

Since U Been Gone | Kelly Clarkson

Life Is Short | John Reuben (ignore the cooky video, only one I could find with the song.)

What I’ve Done | Linkin Park

 

Have any new suggestions for me? Leave a comment and let me know of songs you think I should add!

September 7, 2011 at 10:56 pm 1 comment

New Leaves in My Medical World

I’m happy to report that my colonoscopy on Friday showed that all was well in my rear. No signs of polyps, no signs of complications – it was as pretty as a colon could be. And lucky for you, in just a short time, you’ll be able to see it. In an effort to save lives and show people that getting a colonoscopy isn’t all that bad, I had my friend film my colonoscopy process from start to finish. I turned over a new leaf, and added a new notch to my “colonoscopy veteran” belt.  It’s been great to watch Katie Couric and Dr. Oz go on TV and do the same thing, but I wanted to give everyone in Kansas City a very local look at what a colonoscopy is like. So – we taped my scope. And my prep. (Well not the actual prep, but what I took and how it works.) And soon, you’ll be able to see it. It’s in post”erior”- production right now. HAHA. Oh man I’m funny.

Another fun new leaf that’s been turned for me over the past two weeks is (what I feel) a unique understanding of my doctors. Or at least they’re just now starting to communicate in a new way. In the past, if I entered the office with anxiety or fear, they’d try to tell me I had nothing to worry about. And I did appreciate that since the whole cancer thing is sort of big and scary. But the past two visits I’ve had this month, both of my doctors have made mention that they understand how I feel – or that at least they can see that I enter their office with anxiety and occasional fear. Although they are still confident that I shouldn’t really have anything to worry about, at least they do see that from my perspective, it is unsettling to face scan after scan, scope after scope, never knowing how they will turn out. It’s a constant struggle to find faith and peace in the midst of routine follow-ups. So it’s been really nice to have their understanding. Makes me realize even more that I’ve got a great team of physicians who don’t only care about my charts, but care about me as a person.

August 30, 2011 at 9:58 am 1 comment

Blood work and Boat Napping

Pretty awesome post title, huh? Blood work and boat napping pretty much sums up my weekend and past few days.

Although my visit to the oncologist was somewhat dramatic last week, at least my blood work was not. Good news, CEA levels are normal. Not that they’ve ever really spiked – even when I had a stage 3 tumor – but you know, every bit of good news helps. Here’s some info if you’re not sure about what I mean by CEA levels.

In addition to having a good report on my blood work, I had another exciting experience over the weekend. I feel asleep on a boat.  And Mike, well he fell asleep in a raft. And man was that nice. You see, life seems to be crazy around the homestead for us, and so getting away with a friend and relaxing was just what we needed. I often blame my crazy schedule and go-go-go personality on the fact that I did have cancer, and that I want to pack as much into life as possible because I know it’s short. But once in a while I do remember to slow down and take it easy. I’m not exactly a “good relaxer” but this weekend I didn’t seem to have any trouble watching a movie, eating and sleeping – even sleeping on a boat.

August 24, 2011 at 2:00 pm Leave a comment

Flower Shower

A few weeks ago, I alluded to having a supportive husband in my “10 years Chemo-Free” post. Little did I know that while I sat here and blogged about emotions involved in being a 10-year cancer survivor, Mike had a full-blown plan underway to help me celebrate.

Thank you to everyone for the “flower shower.” I was blessed, broken, humbled and in awe. All I can really say is God be Glorified. Enjoy…

You will go out in joy and be led forth in peace; the mountains and hills will burst into song before you, and all the trees of the field will clap their hands.

Isaiah 55:12

August 21, 2011 at 5:07 pm Leave a comment

Rocking The Medical Routine Boat

So yesterday I had a challenging experience. I had to visit my oncologist. At his new clinic.

Hopefully some other long-time survivors can relate with me so I don’t sound like a total patient-snob. But, after you’ve gotten used to your “medical routine,” it’s hard when it’s changed. Whether you’re going to a new place, have a new nurse, or heaven forbid, get a new doctor – those changes are hard. And although I knew to expect changes yesterday, I didn’t expect to be affected by them so much.

There were probably some really legitimate changes that can be made to the new clinic to make the patient experience better. I’ve got a great doctor who actually took down notes after he saw the flustered look on my face as he walked in the exam room. But even getting past some of those things, I tried to really figure out why I was so startled yesterday. And I decided this:  The reason I’m there in the first place is unsettling enough.

I try to be go-with-the-flow as much as I can. But for some reason I was really, really not up for changes yesterday. I didn’t like going to a new office, nor the new check-in procedure. I wasn’t crazy about anything really – and I knew my poor attitude was stemming from something bigger than the fact there were no magazines in my patient room. I was struggling because I like security, and the reason I’m sitting there is very insecure.

Thankfully, my doctor is a gem and he really did care about my experience and will try to make it better. Having him come in, know my past 10 years history and tell me what’s next, was comforting. And to add another positive – a nurse came in and remembered me from when I was 17, so I didn’t have to explain why I was a 27-year-old colon cancer patient – major bonus points.

In the end, I guess my hope for sharing my story is two-fold:

– For any medical practitioners out there to see the patient’s point of view sometimes. Remember that while you may be making small changes in your world, they may be big changes in your patient’s world. You and your staff offer security to your patients and their families, security that they may not be feeling anywhere else. So while you have all rights to make changes to anything, make them slowly, communicate a lot, and be understanding at how it’s taken. And make sure it’s very clear how much they will owe at the time of their visit.

– To kick myself in the butt, and challenge myself to be more flexible. To find my security in things outside of my medical routine. And to remind myself that although I’m driving to a new clinic with new people and  new routine, that doesn’t mean that my whole world has to turn upside down. Maybe I’ll actually come to like this new place one day.

 

August 20, 2011 at 10:22 pm 1 comment

Taking Life For Granted?

So I heard that it’s best to blog a little every day than try to come up with long posts now and then. Revolutionary, right. So, I’m going to try that approach. As I mentioned before, I’ve become what some might call a “professional blogger” in the sense that I am paid to write blogs for other people all day long. So thus, this poor Semicolon blog gets abandoned. But maybe these new blogging tips I ran across may help.

So for today’s quick post, I am going to throw out something that’s been on my mind a lot – taking things for granted. We say it all the time, “don’t take it for granted.” From our electricity to the few years we have with our children as babies – our culture is known for this ‘don’t take for granted’ catch phrase. But when I was doing my hair the other day, in my air-conditioned house, with a baby crawling around my feet, I tried to figure out what that meant. How could I not take for granted in that moment my conveniences and my blessings. I wasn’t wanting to take anything for granted, but was I doing so by mindlessly using something or going about my day without really considering the blessings in it all? Deep thoughts for a blog about poop, I know.

So, here’s what I’ve come to the conclusion with so far:

  • We all don’t want to take things for granted.
  • We all do take things for granted.
  • We usually don’t take things for granted on purpose.
  • Being mindful of something is a way to not take something for granted.
  • Offering thanksgiving or stepping out to show appreciation for something is a way to not take things for granted.

So – that’s what I’ve got so far. I’ve been through enough life experience to know to be thankful for each day, and that each day is a gift. But this concept of not taking it for granted really has me wondering what that practically means. Ring in on this with me, because I’m really trying to figure it out. How do you NOT take things for granted?

August 18, 2011 at 11:39 am 4 comments

It’s Official

Technically, we waited for this day for a little over six months. But really, the process began many years ago as we started looking into adoption. And I am very excited to report that as of last Friday, our family is official and Mike and I are legally parents. Our adoption was finalized. The judge gave us a glowing smile. And we left court as three “official” Burgesses. How blessed we are.

With Jackson County Commissioner

 

With our great adoption lawyer

Three Burgesses leaving court

 

August 17, 2011 at 4:19 pm 2 comments

10 Years Chemo-Free

They say that a blog can be therapeutic, and a great way to process raw feelings and emotions. Well, this is one of those posts. At least I gave you a heads up. Sorry, no baby photos or poop jokes today. Maybe next time.

On this cancer journey, several of us have special milestone days each year that take us back to when we were in the midst of our fight. Here are a few of mine:

  • January 23 – the day I was diagnosed, how long I’ve been fighting this bad boy cancer.
  • The two weeks between January 23 – Feb 2 – it’s like this shadow hangs over me these weeks as I remember the journey from being diagnosed, to finding doctors, to finally having my first major surgery.
  • June 9 – my new date I have to go off to consider myself “cancer free.” I’m at 2 years.
  • July 24 – my original “survivor day” that my family and I celebrated on the glorious day I was released from cancer treatments and finished with chemo all together!

I know it’s a lot, it is for me too. But these are my special cancer days that I remember each year. I don’t do big celebrations or even really recognize them all each year  (although my husband typically does, bless his heart) but as each one of these days comes, it’s a time for me to reflect – or as it has been in the past, push away the rush of emotions that come with the reality of this cancer game.

Today is one of the days along my journey that always means something special to me, July 24. I hope I never forget what it was like to walk into my oncologist’s office 10 years ago. I was supposed to have a treatment, one of my last. They drew my blood and saw that I was absolutely too weak to take the next chemo treatment. My white blood counts were way too low. Six months of chemo and a month of radiation had been enough. Instead of heading for the chemo room, I got to go into the physician’s room where he explained that I was done, I didn’t have to finish my remaining two treatments, and that I was released from treatment.

While I walked in there without any strength, I nearly floated out of the office. Finally after several months of living through one of the horrors that comes on this side of heaven, at age 17 nonetheless, I was free. My parents took me to Eskews Fine Jewelry to get a watch – and had it engraved “SURVIVOR” and the date, 7-24-01. I still wear it every year on this day. We went out to dinner at Gojos to celebrate. It was a huge day for me.

Just like the Sunday morning earlier this year on January 23, I had a rush of emotions come over me this morning. It’s funny because during the first years of being in remission, I don’t think I really had it all sink in yet. I would be so excited to reach my cancer mile-markers, and just be pumped to celebrate. I even made a homemade t-shirt and wore it for a few years. I was on cloud nine.

survivordayyear1

My homemade "Survivor" t-shirt I sported for years - in 2002

Maybe it’s because my cancer HAS come back once that I find it hard to joyously celebrate now, or maybe it’s because I’m older, I’m married, I have a kiddo – and the actuality of what I went through has just begun to hit me. But instead of breaking out my old shirt today and sporting the town with it – proudly showing I am a survivor – I had to make myself get out of bed, go through my typical Sunday routine and not break down bawling along the way. God bless my friends and family who showed up with flowers today, and my hubby who splurged on delicious cupcakes. He knows the way to my heart.

Although I hate that I feel like crying rather than celebrating as each one of my “Year 10” mile markers has come, I actually think it’s a good thing. Last year when I went through counseling, I learned that instead of processing my emotions, I’ve developed a pattern to unplug from them and disconnect with how I really feel. I’ve slowly started to “plug back in” throughout the year, and the raw emotions of fear, sadness, grief, loss and more have rushed in as I’ve dealt with the cancer face-to-face.While it’s not been fun, it is nice to actually feel again and get real with what I’ve faced throughout the years.

So, today hits 10 years for me that I’ve been “chemo-free” and my original Survivor Day. And while I’ve got a train of emotions hitting me, I’m so, so grateful for them. Not only am I grateful for the ability to feel the emotions, but for life and how God is using my story even 10 years later. I could have easily not made it 10 years ago. But He chose to heal me so that His glory would be made known through me and my story. Why that’s not been the case for everyone who has faced this disease, I don’t understand – but I have faith that it’s all for a reason, and I will continue to point people to hope as long as I’m still here. As hard as it is to face the fears, side effects and impacts that surviving cancer so young has had – I absolutely feel blessed to be part of the bigger picture and do my part in pointing people upwards to Him.

So on that note, a huge “hurray” that I’ve been off the chemo for 10 years now. A huge thank you to everyone who has prayed for me, supported us and walked with us through this journey over the years. I can only pray that there are many more days full of flowers and cupcakes ahead.

July 24, 2011 at 9:47 pm 8 comments

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