Semicolon Stories

Reasons #8-11 You Never Want Colon Cancer

Oh blog readers, I am back. Sorry, crazy week. In light of the craziness, I have been reminded of some of the intricacies of being a colon cancer survivor. Here are a few that have impacted this week:

Reason #8
Everyone prefers to “use their own barn,” but you often don’t have that option.

And when you don’t, it’s so embarrassing. You see, most of us semicolons don’t have the purse or pocket space to carry around our own air freshener and we’d look like freaks, or terrorists, if we carried around a box full of matches.

Reason #9
As appetizing as the new fiber bars on the market look and smell, you’d better just stay away.

Dang you Kashi – you’ve got one that looks awesome too. But no matter how good you smell nor how cool your packaging works, there’s NO WAY I am even testing you out before a night away from home.

Reason #10
A heavy dose of stress works just like a bottle of MiraLax.

Some nights after a long day it’s like I’m preparing for a colonoscopy but without the day of fasting and scope in the morning.

Reason #11
Your dilemma: A healthy diet is full of fresh veggies, whole grains, nuts and seeds. Some of your worst days are full of fresh veggies, whole grains, nuts and seeds.

This one is still stumping me. I’m constantly fighting the balance of eating very healthy, whole, nutrient-full foods while keeping in mind those are often hardest on my colon. I am personally fortunate that I can still eat salads and other veggies that aren’t steamed given my situation. Many other semicolons don’t have it as fortunate.

March 12, 2010 at 4:57 pm Danielle B Leave a comment