Posts tagged ‘adoption story’
January 31 – Mae Day | Mae’s Adotion Journey
The big day had finally arrived. I hadn’t had a stomach full of butterflies like this since my wedding day. Except a white dress and borrowed veil weren’t part of today’s show. Today was something special all in itself.
For three weeks, time had flown. We’d gone from thinking we might be parents within the year just 30 days before to waking up and preparing ourselves to be in family court, adopting a 4-month-old baby girl in just a few hours. “The Lord works in mysterious ways” didn’t even begin to cover it.
Once the day for court arrived, time couldn’t have gone any slower. Our court date was scheduled for the afternoon so we tried to stay busy with cleaning the house and watching TV. Weather warnings continued to flash; ice and snow were about to hit. We prayed that everyone would make it to court on time and safely. Luckily, the courts stayed open and cancelled only their evening cases.
Adoption Court
After a long morning of lounging, we finally got dressed and headed downtown. Not knowing if we needed to dress formally or casually we decided to look nice to hopefully make a good impression with the judge. We left the house very early, not wanting to get lost or held up in the process. Once we located the right building, we got coffee. Two swirled hearts in our cups by the barista sealed the deal. This was a day of love.
Once inside the court building we filed through the security checks and made our way to the large waiting room that sat outside of several doors leading to small courtrooms holding family court cases. It was nothing like we’d seen on TV. It wasn’t fancy or fun, just stale white walls and old ticking clocks. And lots of chairs and people sitting around.
Over the next hour, everyone managed to arrive on time and things went just as planned. We all had separate meetings with the judge and were pleased when our time went very quickly. We even had the baby in the courtroom with us. She sat perfectly in her car seat, charming the entire room. We were granted temporary custody and were instructed to return in six months to make the adoption final. Anything the judge or our lawyer said after that was history. She was all ours.
Announcing “It’s Final!”
We snapped a few pictures and carefully made our way back to the car, trying not to slip on the slick sidewalks. A slow, careful drive home gave me plenty of time to text our friends and family that “Mae Brooke Burgess” was on her way home. Finally we shared the name we’d chosen for her. Finally she could come home. It was time to celebrate.
Even with the bad weather, all of the grandparents were ready to come see the baby. We had an hour together as a family of three. Mike and I showed her around the house, introduced her to the dogs and spent time in her room. Once everyone arrived, a night full of snuggling and pictures followed. Everyone was full of love for our new addition.
When Mae began to get tired, the grandparents headed home. It was just the three of us once again. We took Mae up to her room and changed her into her PJs, starting her first bedtime routine. Because we wanted her to feel as comfortable as possible, we laid her in her pack-in-play bed from Uncle Nick’s house. Daddy snapped a picture. I leaned down and gave her a kiss. And with that, we said goodnight to our daughter for the first time.
Read Last Year’s “Mae Day” post.
A Year Later….
Thank you to everyone who’s been following Mae’s Adoption Journey over the past month. What a joy it’s been to re-live the story of one of the biggest miracles in our life. I still shake my head that we became parents in three weeks.
This year has been the highlight of our lives. Mae is a beautiful, charming little girl who has a charisma to her that I stand in awe of each day. She’s naturally joyful, smiling all the time, and brings a smile to my face just about every minute of each day.
I didn’t know what the future had for me eleven years ago when I found out I couldn’t have my own children due to my colon cancer. And while the road to get to this place certainly wasn’t easy or “speed-bump” free, I do praise the Lord for the grace He’s given us, and for bringing this angel into our world.
My prayer is that our story shows hope that the Lord’s plans are good (and they often look differently than our own.) He can bring hope to ANY situation. If you trust in Him and follow His leading, He will have amazing plans headed your way. You too will have your own personal “Mae Day.”
The law of the LORD is perfect, reviving the soul. The statutes of the LORD are trustworthy, making wise the simple.
Psalm 19:7
January 30 – Adoption-Eve | Mae’s Adoption Journey
Well, the big day was almost here. Threats of “snow-mageddon” flooded the news stations as a large snow and ice storm was about to hit Kansas City. We worried about the courts being cancelled with the bad weather forecasts coming in. We didn’t just have ourselves to worry about – we had to pray that our lawyer, our birth mom, her lawyer, Uncle Nick and the baby, our social worker from the agency and both Mike & I would all arrive safely to the courthouse. The thought of something not working out was overwhelming. So we did everything we could to take our minds off of it.
The Sunday Before…
Luckily, the day before our court date happened to be a Sunday. Sundays were very busy for us since I worked at the church and we led a group at our house on Sunday evenings. Plus, on this Sunday we also had a baby shower to attend. Our friends, Scott & Patti, who had been the ones to text us about this baby girl, were also in the adoption process with a little boy from Russia. They were awaiting a court date any minute and so friends threw them a shower to help them prepare. It was a great time of celebration. While at the shower, we noticed we were among several other adoptive families. And the reality that we were soon “joining the club” finally hit.
Adoption-Eve…
There’s nothing quite like going to bed the for last time as a non-parent. Excited anxieties raced through my mind. I wanted to get a deep sleep – who knew the last time I’d get to sleep through the night? I tried to gently slip into slumber but thoughts that a little baby would be sleeping in a room next to us in just one night kept me awake. I couldn’t believe it was real. I was nervous yet so excited. Just weeks earlier I had gone to bed, praying for God’s will to be done in our adoption process. I’d never realized how quickly we’d see His plan in action.
January 29 – “We’re Not Parents Yet” Weekend | Mae’s Adoption Journey
After a week of watching a baby, I was utterly exhausted. It wasn’t even as much of the physical demands as it was the change of pace. I was used to typing and writing – not reading board books, changing diapers, swaddling, swaying and all of the other stuff that comes with caring for an infant. But while my pace of life had been jolted all week, I certainly wasn’t complaining.
As the weekend came, we made plans to stay busy. Although I was so tired, we had to keep going to keep our mind off of things. Just three weeks ago a simple text changed our lives. Events hadn’t slowed down with anticipation of a birth mom meeting, decisions and waiting for a court date. Once that date was scheduled though, we experienced the longest week of our lives. Luckily, we could visit the baby as much as we wanted. My mom and friend Amy even snuck over to see her while we waited. But then it came again: a long weekend. So, we did what anyone would do who was about to become parents in two days: we ran ourselves ragged and hardly went home.
“We’re Not Parents Yet” Weekend
The weekend before our court date was one of the fastest, craziest weekends we’d ever had. We’ve always been social, but this weekend we turned it up a notch. Bowling with friends, Maverick’s hockey game, shopping, going out to eat – our Friday and Saturday was absolutely packed. But at least it helped the time go quickly.
Just a week earlier we had toasted to the thought that we’d be having our “Last Meal as Non-Parents,” yet that timeline soon changed when our court date was scheduled for a week later. So, we took the opportunity to get with as many friends as we could and do everything “fun” before a child entered our world. Because although we knew life would still go on even with a baby, we had no idea what was about to hit…
January 27 – Show and Tell | Mae’s Adoption Journey
I had been “babysitting” my future kid for several days. I’d been very used to being on-the-go all the time and working 40 hours/week away from the home. So, to have a week where I had “baby duty” each morning at 8am until the evening was a pretty big adjustment for me. Granted, I knew I needed to adjust quickly since that would be my everyday gig in just a few days, but it took baby steps to ease into it.
I tried to follow the rules and stay at Uncle Nick’s house each day. We were instructed to not have the baby come to our house before the court date. But on the third day or so, I started to get a little restless. And while I didn’t break the rules, let’s just say we took a little field trip.
Baby Show & Tell
My bud Leah didn’t live too far from Uncle Nick and so I texted her to see if she was home. I wanted to get out of the house, yet not take her to my house, so I compromised. Plus, she’d been having a rough week so I knew this would cheer her up. I finally got ahold of her and made sure it was OK if I stopped by for a second. She didn’t know that I’d have her with me that morning. Needless to say, her face was priceless when she saw me toting an infant carrier inside her house.
We hung out and she kept saying how beautiful and perfect our baby girl looked. I had also texted my friend and our pastor Orion to see if he was out and about. He made sure to find a way to come to Leah’s house when he realized I was out with the baby. So after a few minutes he showed up and met her too.
We didn’t stay long, but it was so fun to get out of the house and introduce her to a few special friends. Only a few more days and she was all ours…
A Birth Mom is A Hero | Mae’s Adoption Journey
A Reflection
Few people have to make a harder choice than a birth mom.
Unplanned pregnancy. Decisions to keep the child. Only to in the end, give it away.
That’s probably the most Christ-like scenario we have on this side of heaven.
Many who adopt fear the birth mom.
TV doesn’t help. Crazy stories invoke fear that your baby won’t be yours anymore.
Even beyond that, having a birth mom in your life is a reminder that the baby isn’t “yours” in the first place.
But ultimately, isn’t that the same for everybody though? No child is truly “ours” if God is the originator of life.
I’m thankful for our birth mom who is in the truest form, a hero.
She made a selfless sacrifice so that her beautiful girl would have a good life.
I can only hope that if I was in a similar situation, I’d have the strength to make the same choice.
The choice that mirrors the love of my Savior.
January 23 – 10 Year Survivor | Mae’s Adoption Journey
If the journey to our three-week adoption wasn’t emotional enough, there was a special piece to the the timing of things that was making it even more memorable. I was walking in the shadow of another emotional January that happened just 10 years before. That one was just as thrilling, yet not so joyous.
The 2001 Diagnosis
Ten years earlier I had been rushed through a similar rat race of ups and downs – many that fell on the same days as key events in our adoption story. Except 10 years before, they weren’t full of anticipation and joy of a baby. Instead, they were full of fear and anxiety of cancer. As a 17-year-old, I had just been diagnosed with colon cancer. The roller coaster was full of doctors appointments, scans and scheduled surgeries. Not baby shoes and nursery items.
For months leading up to my “10 year” anniversary, I had come up with several ways I wanted to celebrate. I’d gone so far as to sketch out a big fundraiser to raise money for the Colon Club. Then I thought about running ten 5Ks in 2011, signifying my “10 years of survival.” But, nothing ever fabricated. And I realized that it was most likely because God knew I’d have other plans on the 10th year anniversary of being diagnosed with colon cancer.
10 Years of Survivorship and An Introduction to the Family
As the big day came, all I really wanted was to be with my family and our baby. Although I thought I wanted something “big” to give back to others – in the end I just wanted to be at home with the people who had supported me the most. My family.
Each one of the grandparents had waited for a new picture or update all week. While Mike & I would go visit the baby, they had yet to meet her. We wanted to make sure we had a court date and it looked like everything was a “go” before we introduced the baby to them. But as my special day came, I knew it was time. I wanted to celebrate my 10 year anniversary of being diagnosed with cancer with our family meeting our baby. Wht a way to redeem the day.
Meeting the Grandparents
Uncle Nick’s house had become like a second home to us, especially when he told us we were welcome to invite the family over. We gave each of our parents the time and address and told them we’d see them soon! We arrived a little early for more one-on-one time with our baby girl. Time flew and before we knew it, they had all arrived. And right on time – if not a little early. They couldn’t wait to meet our newest addition. It was a perfect moment.
The evening was one of the most memorable in the process. Grandparents ooed and awwed over our beautiful girl. Tears sprung when we finally disclosed her name to them, swearing them to secrecy. Even after a week of visits, we could tell she knew my face and responded to my voice. We ate pizza and had cupcakes. No talk of cancer was found – just excitement for a new baby. And in reality, that’s just how it needed to be.
Years earlier my parents were standing in a library telling me I had cancer. My life was at stake, and the future was uncertain. But now, 10 years later, I was still here. I had life. And what was even better was that another little life was about to enter our world. That was the best celebration I could have ever asked for.
January 22 – Chair Shopping | Mae’s Adoption Journey
With a whole week left to go, we let our hair down and took deep breaths. We still had some time to get ready for baby. We already bought “must haves” just in case we had a baby living with us that weekend like diapers and a few clothes and bottles. But one thing we’d yet to do – get the nursery finalized. And there was one missing piece: a chair.
Buying Our Nursery Chair
It may seem crazy, but I was pretty particular when it came to the nursery chair. Following in my big cousin Kristi’s footsteps, I’d always loved how she had an actual “chair” in her kids’ rooms. Hers was a leather recliner. I liked that she could keep her chair for years after her kids were older. Plus, it was major comfortable. So, following suit I totally copied off of her and decided to do the same thing. She loved it.
With my heart set on having a “comfortable” chair that could be reused in any room, we set out shopping. We grabbed my bud, “Auntie Amy,” and headed out to Nebraska Furniture Mart. It didn’t take us long to find it, even after we stopped at the massage chairs. There it was: a perfect, dark brown, gliding, reclining chair. Our nursery was complete.
First Stop: Massage Chairs
The perfect nursery chair
January 21 – Court Date Scheduled | Mae’s Adoption Journey
A whole work week had gone by. On Monday, we thought we’d be in court by Friday. Friday morning had arrived and we still didn’t know if we had court that day. We were ready to leave at any second in case lawyer Mike could get us in front of a judge ASAP.
An email finally came through from the adoption agency that morning letting us know about a small ‘hangup’ in the process. My stomach dropped. Ut oh- birth mom change her mind? Birth father appeared out of nowhere? Something was wrong with the baby?
Luckily – just a few meetings had been postponed and so court wouldn’t be happening in just a few hours. I exhaled and was relieved – this I could handle.
Setting the Court Date
I notified Mike who was on standby at work that we wouldn’t be in court before the weekend. We’d held off making any plans with the hope that we’d have a little girl living with us. Luckily, our lawyer called quickly to give us the details on our court date and what to plan on.
We’d been assigned a judge. The judge happened to be out-of-town the following week. And he couldn’t get our case transferred – so we had to wait. So now our court date was set for a little over a week away – January 31st.
We knew of several friends who’d adopted internationally so I quickly had my disappointment put into perspective. Waiting another week – since only two weeks had gone by since we’d begun this process – was nothing. Plus, we could visit the baby as much as we wanted – she just couldn’t come live with us yet. So we put our chins up and decided that this was probably a good thing – we’d have another week to get ready for baby.
January 20 – Meeting Lawyer Mike | Mae’s Adoption Journey
In the midst of long days of waiting, we had a crazy bout of snow & ice. School was cancelled every other day. Mike certainly didn’t mind. So on a snowy morning we headed over to see our baby once again. She was still staying with the neighbor, but between drop-by visits and calls, the neighbor seemed like an old-time friend.
We headed out to see our gorgeous girl and on the way received a long-awaited phone call from our lawyer. This was the first time we’d spoken and he wanted us at his office that afternoon. He had papers ready and was still going to try to get us in court the next day.
So, our long visit to the baby was cut short as we gave her a few hugs and kisses and then headed for downtown Kansas City.
Meeting With Our Adoption Attorney
I’d never met with an attorney before so I had no idea to expect. The tall building and long elevator ride seemed right but as soon as our lawyer Mike greeted us from his waiting room, my perspective shifted from there. He was funny and told jokes. He told us stories about his kids and laughed a lot. It was refreshing – it made the process even so much more … fun. Even the legal side of it. Mike walked us through each paper and the process that awaited us. He’d go file a petition and wait to hear of our date. Then for six months we’d have temporary custody. He’d need to place a few notices and check a paternity registry since the birth father had never been in the picture. (although he was sure he wouldn’t be resurfacing, it was protocol.) And then after court, we’d head home with the baby, meet with our social worker for six months and then return to court to make it final later in the year. That seemed simple enough.
One of our First “Just the Two Of Us” Meals
We were beaming once again after leaving the lawyer’s office. The ball was rolling. It’s amazing how much hope and excitement flooded back in after a long week of waiting. We headed down to Power & Light for a nice dinner. As far as we knew, this could be the last night it would be just the two of us…. forever. So, we ordered a few drinks and had a great meal. We couldn’t wait to hear if we’d be in court the next morning.
January 19 – Getting Ready for Baby | Mae’s Adoption Journey
We kept eagerly awaiting a phone call from the agency for our court date. We’d heard it could be as soon as Friday, just two days away. Yet without any formal plans and not yet having heard from a lawyer, we sat tight and got ready for a baby the best we knew how.
Thank the Lord for Mom Friends
Step one – an email to my friend Leah. She was my first friend to become a mom, and three kids later I knew she was veteran. Plus, she was always much more tech-savvy than me, so I knew she was my go-to person. Once we agreed to take in this little baby, questions flooded my mind. How much should she eat? How often should she sleep? When she start baby food? Does she drink water? How do you make a baby’s routine and schedule? How do we buy a car seat? The logistics of raising a child hit me – I had no clue what to do. So I called Leah.
She gathered several links and sent me an email with link after link of nutrition and development guidelines, car seat safety (even telling me which one worked for my car!), diaper deals and more (My fave was a link for weekly emails telling me what the baby should be doing each week of her life!) I finally had more peace. Okay, I could do this.
Around that same time, my friend Kelley emailed me encouragement and reminded me of how cool it was that our baby girl was born in September, just like her daughter. I’d gone through Kelley’s pregnancy with her and even watched her in the delivery room. This baby girl’s birthday landed just one day earlier than Kelley’s daughter’s. Kelley reminded me of how cool it was that going through the experience with her gave me an idea of what things were like for our birth mom’s pregnancy – at least the timing of things. I was once again reminded that God was all over this, and that these “coincidences” were all part of his plan.
Name Game Guessing
Meanwhile, my brother and sister-in-law sent in name guesses. Andy was never one for surprises and so not knowing the baby’s name was absolutely killing him. I’d given him a hint after multiple requests that her name would start with an “M.” At least that distracted him enough to start searching for names. He sent me his top guesses:
Andy & Ashley’s Top Baby Name Guesses:
1.) MONROE (HA HA HA)
2.) MAVERICK (that’s for mike)
3.) Maria
4.) Mariah
5.) McKinley
6.) Morgan
7.) Maleah
8.) Maya
9.) Moira
Wiring Money & Buying Diapers
Last items on the agenda of the day: wiring money and buying diapers. I bought my first set of diapers and wipes…. in bulk. And then it was time for the bank.
Money transfers were nothing I was familiar with, but thankfully our agency gave great instructions and Bank of America was extremely helpful. We’d opened up a separate account just for adoption expenses and were very blessed by the generosity of family, friends and extra work to have just what we needed when the unexpected call came. And my was it unexpected.
Scott & Patti were fellow adoptive parents and had encouraged us years earlier to not worry about the money piece of adoption. Their experience was that God provides, and especially when He calls you to adopt. So as I signed the papers and watched the clerk process the money transfer, I realized how futile money is when it comes to adoption. Sure, it was needed (like it or not.) And we’d absolutely been blessed. But there was no dollar amount that could be put on what was happening in the adoption of a child. Nor becoming a family of three. I was glad I hadn’t let the scary numbers and worry about funds stop us from applying. God had absolutely provided for what he’d called us to do.
Semicolon Stories 