January 8 – The Text | Mae’s Adoption Journey
After a year, I think it has “sunk in” that Mike & I are now parents to the beautiful Miss Mae. Please join me this month as we travel down memory lane. I’ve not yet told our full adoption story in the blog. Join me as I reminisce. Get caught up if you’re still confused about how on earth we became parents. Be encouraged if you too are on the adoption path. And through each day, may God be glorified.
January 8th – Holy Cow – This Will Be Us Soon….
That’s exactly what we were thinking at this time, on this date, last year. Our friends Scott & Amy had just had baby Ayla the previous day and we made a trip to Blue Springs to visit them in the hospital. We pulled up and giggled when we parked in the “ministerial parking” spot. I figured my church job had to pay off somehow.
We entered the maternity ward and located their room. Of course, perfect timing for us, we arrived right during Ayla’s dinner. While we waited for Amy to finish feeding her, we went and waited in a nice waiting room outside of the birthing room suites. We sat there, looking around at the kid toys, posters about breast feeding and pregnant woman fliers and became overwhelmed with the thought that we could soon be in a waiting room just like this one … except instead of waiting to see our friends’ kid – we could be waiting to see our kid.
A Little Background on the Adoption Journey
Leading up to Jan. 9, we had kicked off the adoption process earlier in Fall 2010. We knew we had both heard from the Lord that it was time to begin the process, and so away our application papers went in September 2010. Through the months of Oct-Dec., we worked on our home study. We announced to the world we were adopting through our blog. We had baby room furniture. I’d been shopping for gender-neutral fabrics and the nursery bedding was underway. (All while we tried to wrap our minds around the fact that we’d begun our path to parenthood.) With a completed home study, we planned to go “active” with our adoption agency in a few weeks – which meant that soon pregnant moms could begin “shopping” for us. So sitting in that waiting room was a stark reality of what was to come… and suddenly we realized how awkward it was going to be.
Visiting New Baby, Ignoring the Phone
Once the awkwardness hit us, the room got silent. We were the only ones in there, just staring at the flier about car seat safety. Something about it felt so weird and unnatural. I’d been having feelings creep up that I wasn’t really up for a brand new baby. Brushing it off as fear, I figured this was all part of the adoption process. Parts of it just felt so unnatural. Fear was a natural response.
Luckily, Scott came to get us and led us back to the room in just a few seconds. We were soon caught up with the excitement of a new baby, so small and tiny, so beautiful. We were excited for our friends and took in their beaming faces. It was a great moment. In the midst of meeting Ayla, holding her and getting the “we stopped by the hospital to see the new baby” photo, I began hearing my phone alerts. It was the text message alert so I figured it wasn’t urgent and I’d check my messages once we left the hospital.
New Message: You Want a Kid?
Okay, so the message wasn’t exactly that blunt. However, once we returned to the car, I realized I had a text from our friend Scott. He was asking if he and his wife Patti could talk to Mike and I the next morning before church. I quickly fired back, “Not if you’re leaving the church.” I wasn’t sure what else could be so serious that they’d need to make sure we’d be available to chat the next morning.
A few follow-up texts began to give some context to why Scott & Patti wanted to meet. I knew about Scott’s friend Nick and had just learned days before that he was taking care of his baby niece while also juggling being a single dad. The possibility of adoption for the little girl had come up. She was 3 months old, biracial and in Lee’s Summit. Not knowing if that’s what we were up for, they decided to go for it and text to see if we wanted to even talk about it.
When we realized why Scott & Patti wanted to get together with us, we shrugged it off and thought, “Why not, it won’t hurt anything.” We’d been the “go-to” couple over the past few years for situations that had risen up where a child needed an adoptive family. And after two or three of those situations had fallen through, we’d learned not to get our hopes up. We figured the pregnant-birth-mom-finding-us-through-our-adoption-agency was the right path for us. But, we were always open to what God had in store. Plus, there were some things about this that strangely matched our desires, even if she was already three months old.
After briefly discussing it in the car on the way to get dinner, we decided to respond back, “Sure, we can talk tomorrow…”
And that was that. Never did we expect for it to really go anywhere. But entertaining one last random opportunity like this wouldn’t hurt anything, right?
Entry filed under: Biracial Adoption, Burgess Adoption, Maeby, Memoir. Tags: adoption after cancer, adoption journey, adoption story, first words of mae, home study, mae, new baby, nursery bedding, preparing to adopt.