Semicolon Stories

Devotion

January 2, 2012 at 9:08 pm Danielle B Leave a comment

So that’s my word for this year.

In the past I’ve come up with a “word” for the upcoming year. It’s not just me drawing out of a hat though, it’s often times a word that’s put on my heart many weeks before the new year rings in. I’ve done this for the past several years now, and it continues to amaze me how true these words have come to signify the year. What’s really funny is the word I wrote just one year ago that I felt would be the resolution for 2011: fulfill.

Little did I know that in just three weeks into 2011, God would fulfill a longtime prayer on my heart to be a mama, as well as many other pleas like job changes, provisions and support throughout this entire year.

Making Resolutions and Breaking Fingernails

In addition to that very Wheel of Fortune – Before and After subtitle, I’ve realized that in my world, making resolutions are indeed like growing out my nails.  My nails can grow, and I hardly ever notice them. But the day I realize, “Hey, my nails have grown out!” – I break them the next day. Seems to be the same with me and goals. If I realize I’ve stuck to a plan, I jinx myself and find that I undo it all the next day or so.

Goals Goals Goals

Part of my hesitation to resolutions has been the “goals” element. I hate goals. I hate thinking about them, setting them and especially voicing them. And why? Because I hate failing, and so I would rather not put them out there in the event that I don’t meet my goals and then it’s public knowledge that I fell short. How’s that for honesty and a dose of pride I’m working on? Plus, ask an almost 11-year cancer survivor what their five-year plan is – and I bet you hear some similar things. I’m going to tell you that it will be by the grace of God that I’m alive in five years, so my goal is to survive. Not to pull the cancer card, but that’s the reality.

So while I’ve gotten my hatred for goals out-of-the-way now, I will say that the word “devotion” being on my heart and a good look at life now, I’m coming around to the idea of setting some sort of goal and making a resolution to stick to a few things this year. I suck at routines, but that’s on the list of what I need to get in order this year. Not just for me but our kiddo, who I hear thrives on that kind of stuff. I’d like to get my book proposal done and take the step in trying to get published. I’d like to blog more. I’d like to keep cutting out sugar. Thanks to my cholesterol test, I need to exercise more. And most importantly, I want to become a gal who prays more this year – like the real, honest prayers.

So, with that being said, I kick off this year and pray for a heart of devotion. And I secretly wonder if a year from now I’ll be shaking my head at what came my way three weeks into the year again. Dear Lord, take it easy on me. Is it a weird goal to stop hating goals? Nonetheless, that is what I strive for. To be devoted to my calling, to actually stick with my goals and to stick to something longer than a few weeks. Here goes…

Entry filed under: Everything Colon. Tags: cancer survivor, devotion, five year plan, goals, resolutions.