Fancy Thanksgiving Feast

I sat down at the beautifully set table. The glasses, plates and silverware sparkled and shined. The table cloth was spotless, perhaps even ironed. We bowed our heads as my dad led a prayer to thank God for what He’s brought us, for the Thanksgiving holiday, and for the food we were about to eat. And as the prayer began to wind down, I silently slipped in, “And let me survive this holiday.”

All of the sudden dishes upon dishes of food began dancing on the table, and it seemed as though Handel’s “Messiah” had just started playing as large spoonfuls of goodness galloped onto our plates. The seven layer salad topped with eggs, bacon, ranch dressing, cheese and lettuce broke us into the dinner, with dishes of mac & cheese, cheesy broccoli rice casserole, rolls, cream of mushroomed-green beans, and creamy corn followed. As heaps of food landed on each of our plates, my prayers increased as I began to slowly dive into the meal.

“Remember your boundaries,” I told myself. “Bread first, little bit of everything, don’t let  my main dish be dairy, don’t get over-full, save room for dessert.”

I joined in the fun and started the “oohing and aahing” with the rest of the gang gathered around our Thanksgiving feast. I savored flavors and foods that six months ago, I didn’t think I would ever eat again. Flashbacks to my hosptial stay flooded my mind as I vividly remembered what it felt like to lay in the hospital bed and have the nurse come in with new IV bag full of white powdery stuff (TPN) she called my “steak and potatoes” that fed me nutrition through my arm. My dream from six months ago had come true. I could eat again, I could enjoy food without it turning on me, and I could experience the joys of life even without a colon.

This Thanksgiving, I had a new perspective on thankfulness. In the past, my surbanite answers have always been the superficial  “family, friends, food and fun” when asked what I was thankful for. But this year as I peered over dish upon dish of casseroles and cakes, I was thankful for something else. I was thankful to be alive. I was thankful for the doctors who helped guide me toward the right decision in surgery, and figured out how to fix the complications once they came. I was thankful to feel normal again. I was thankful that I didn’t end up spending all day in the bathroom, nor get sick over the meal. And I was thankful I could have cheesecake for dessert.

December 1, 2009 at 6:16 pm Leave a comment

A Semi-Colon Props for Hester

A semi-colon props goes out today to Bears football player Devin Hester. It takes guts to wake up the next day after something like this happens to you. I can’t imagine it on live TV. But now he knows how it feels to wake up and chat with your GI after a colonoscopy, and much less, become friends with him. Way to promote colon cancer awareness dude, and it’s not even March yet!

November 24, 2009 at 1:19 am 1 comment

Hug Fart

The other day I was standing in the hallway.

Picking up my things after church.

My husband acted like he hadn’t seen me in ten years,

And had just found me through a Google search.

It had really only been a few minutes, but to him, way too long.

He quickly got the look on his face, “I am going to fix what is wrong.”

He put his arms around me and gave me the biggest hug.

And all of the sudden it squeaked out, like a tiny little bug.

Sometimes you can stop those things, or at least hold them in.

But in this instance there was no turning back, the lion had left its den.

He hugged me so tight in the hallway, it  forced the mighty wind to blow.

But at least nobody was walking by to experience the smelly show.

I laughed as I hugged him back, whispering that he’d just made me fart.

And when he kept on hugging me, I knew he loved me with all of his heart.

November 21, 2009 at 4:41 pm Leave a comment

The Dairy Dilemma – Part 2

Sorry, folks! I am a triple-blog liar! But finally we have The Dairy Dilemma – Part 2.
(In case you are wondering, my bro’s colonoscopy was clean and clear! Yay for him!)

As I mentioned in The Dairy Dilemma – Part 1, dairy can be hard on the semi-colon’s sytem … and most people’s systems these days. I gave some tips that I’ve learned that have worked for me, and hopefully they’ll help you digest the yummy dairy goodness if you too cannot live without it.

The topic needed a second day because I’ve recently learned things about dairy that have made me very concerned! Once I decided I’d stick with dairy and learn how and what to eat, I became aware of an even bigger problem that affects all of us, not just semi-colons.

Mike’s aunt & uncle sent me a book this past summer called “An Unhealthy Truth” by Robin O’Brien. I dove into it a few months ago and came out as a wide-eyed and concerned consumer regarding what is in our food. In the book, O’Brien uncovers corruption between the FDA and many major food and pesticide corporations who are using genetically modified, synthetic or hormone-treated crops or livestock to make big bucks. I’m typically one who sits back to see if an issue is all “hype” or not – but when I learned that many other countries around world have banned the use of such products and hormones, I started to sense a problem. And for me, I was especially concerned with our dairy.

O’Brien explains, “Most of the nation’s leading dairy processors use milk from cows treated with the bovine growth hormone in at least some of it’s products… ” (p. 109) Bovine Growth Hormone (rBST or rBGH)  is a chemical given to cows to make them “step up milk production.” And while this doesn’t seem like such a bad thing, it’s adverse effects on cows can make you wonder. O’Brien’s book says that:

“The product seems to be hazardous to the cows. The package itself warns of such bovine problems as increases in ‘cystic ovaries and disorders of the uterus,’ ‘decreases in gestation length and birth-weight of calves,’ and ‘increased risk of clinical mastitis’ ‘(a painful type of udder infection that causes cows to pump out bacteria and pus along with milk requiring treatment with antibiotics and other meds that can end up in the milk.” (p. 99)

Sorry to gross you out, but those simple truths made me very concerned. I am an individual with some sort of cancer-causing gene mutation, and so to hear that the majority of the food I’ve been eating is from genetically-modified, hormone-enhanced and possibly antiobiotic-laced cows or crops worries me. Especially when it’s pointed out that:

“90-percent of breast cancers being diagnosed today are being triggered by factors in our environment.” (p.102).

“IFG-1 has also been implicated in prostate and colon cancer.” (IGF-1 is a hormone that can be found in milk, and is found in rBGH milk up to 10 times more than the levels of natural milk, and possibly even twentyfold according to more recent studies.” “It’s been known for years that the particular hormone is linked with cancers (because of its effects) on the endocrine sysem,’ says Dr. Pompilio.(p. 102-103)

“According to CNN and a recent study published in the Journal of Allergy and Immunology, milk allergy is now the most common food allergy in the United States, having risen to the number one position in the last ten years.”(p. 100)

After reading the research and studies, I was ready to change. But the nail in the coffin for me was O’Brien’s statement about what the FDA is requiring, which to me, is so sickening because of the corruption and greed:

“If a dairy wanted to highlight the fact that its milk had NOT been made with rBGH (you know, for those of us who might have an interest in avoiding this potentially carcionogenic hormone), the FDA recommended it to also state on the label that there was no difference between the genetically altered hormone that Monsanto had developed (company manufacturing the rBGH) and the regular old bovine growth hormone that already occured in nature.” (p. 104)

And when I went to Kansas City’s beloved Shatto milk’s website. I saw that to be true – there was a small disclaimer on their homepage that although they were rBGH-free, there has been no proven difference. What a load of crap. Because of lawsuits that have favored the rBGH-making Monsanto, local dairies priding themselves for not using artificial growth hormones now have to tip-toe around just to share their story and safety with consumers.

So friends, here we are. I was overwhelmed after I read this. Mainly because 1) This is all that I’ve consumed my entire life. We didn’t know! 2) I cannot afford to go all-organic, and 3) This is too big for me!

But as I began to do some research and finish O’Brien’s book, I learned it was possible to do something! And while it’s not wise to jump in the cold pool all at once, baby steps into the water will help make the swim much easier. Here’s what I’ve done so far, and what I’d encourage you in if you’re concerned now too.

1. Read the book. It gave great advice about adopting an 80/20 policy so you don’t kill yourself over being totally hormone-free or organic. This has helped me tremendously, as I still buy regular butter and feel comfortable in restaurants and other’s homes. Dairy is just one of the foods she tackles too… read the book for the full scoop on many of our beloved brands.

2. I began researching safe brands in my area. O’Brien lists several safe brands and stores, but not many are close to me in the KC Metro area. For you who are local to KC, here are some brands that can be found in the area that are safe and rBGH-free. I’m sure this is not a comprehensive list. If you have any to add, leave a comment and let me know!

  • Any Organic Products (to be labeled organic they have to be rBGH-free by definition). Hy-Vee, Target, Wal-Mart and many other stores are carrying organic lines of dairy, and some (like Hy-Vee) even have their own organic store brand.
  • Wal-Mart’s “Great Value” milk (milk only, not cheese or other products at this time)
  • Yoplait yogurt (sneakers, they started making rBGH-free this past August but are keeping it on the down-low.)
  • Kraft’s  2% brand of cheese (only one at this time)
  • Shatto Milk Company (milk can be found at Hy-Vee, Price Chopper, Nature’s Pantry)
  • Ben & Jerry’s ice cream
  • Starbucks’ milk – as a company they vow to not use rBGH milk (or preservatives in their cookies for that matter.)
  • Chipotle – their food is hormone-free
  • I believe I read that Cabot cheese is going rBGH-free due to consumer demand.

3. I told somebody. It all starts with passing along the info. If you’re concerned too – tell somebody. Maybe together we can turn this around and one day be a country in-line with Europe, Australia, Russia and even Africa and demand that our country can prioritize making dairy (and other foods for that matter) safe over profitable. I just wonder how many more of us will have to lose colons, breasts, lungs, prostates and other vital organs to cancer to get this point across. Even if the dairy dilemma didn’t cause it … it’s certainly not helping it.

November 20, 2009 at 7:12 pm 3 comments

Colonoscopy Survival Kit

I am a blog liar. Dairy Dilemma- Part 2 today will come tomorrow.

Bro&Sis

Today, I am writing a post in honor of my brother who is getting a colonoscopy tomorrow.

Andy and I are less than 13 months apart. I know what you’re thinking and although my parents deny it every time, I still think he was an “oops” baby. They swear he was planned. And all of the parents who’ve had kids less than 15 months apart say: “riiiight.”

Anyway, my immediate family has been put on a “Cancer’s Most Wanted” list because of my crazy case of colon cancer. They’re all seen as high-risk. We’re in the process of genetic testing to help rule out some of those risks, but until then, they’re stuck with getting frequent colonoscopies. Sorry guys!

Although the nitty-gritties about a colonoscopy seem unbearable, it’s really not that bad. You’re not even awake during the test. They put you out, and you wake up minutes later remembering the lollipops and flying unicorns you dreamed about while the GI doc scanned your butt. You go home, sleep it off, and carry on your merry way.

The hardest part about a colonoscopy is the day of prep before. You cannot eat the day before your test, and then you clean out your colon later that evening. This can be a pretty unpleasant day, but after having over five colonoscopies over the past nine years or so, I’ve picked up a few tips along the way.

My Colonoscopy Survival Kit.
Read ’em and poop!

– A large pasta dinner the evening before your “clean out” day. This will help you not be starving when you wake up.

– Naked Juice. Beware of the red/pink flavors, as well as the thick smoothie varieties, but many of these juices not only give you 100% real fruit in a liquid form, but can help you feel full.

– Jello and Broth. The jello is thicker so it makes you feel like you’re chewing and eating something. The broth will also help curve your cravings better than juice.

– Flavored tea or Crystal Light. If you’re using the prep that must be mixed with a clear liquid (they often recommend lemon lime flavor) and you enjoy a Sprite or 7-up – don’t mix it with that. Go for something you can stand, but not prefer. I couldn’t drink Sprite for years after I learned this the hard way.

– Scott’s Flushable Wipes. Don’t worry, these are sold in the adults section. While it might seem embarrassing, I recommend their usage. After so many trips to the bathroom your rear can get raw. These help prevent that. Even if you don’t opt for these, at least don’t use cheap toilet paper. Go for the Charmin Soft on this night.

– A great magazine. Again, you’ll be hitting the pot a lot. Take something with short, small articles you can read and come back to over, and over, and over.

– A nightlight. Hopefully you’ll be done pooping by the time you go to bed, but just in case the midnight run comes along, it’s best not to fall and crack your head on the sink at 3am. Just get a nightlight so you can sit in the dark and not worry about the light.

November 17, 2009 at 8:00 pm 6 comments

The Dairy Dilemma – Part 1

It’s a horrible feeling. You head down the frozen foods aisle with the goal of finding mixed vegetables and all of the sudden the colorful, fun ice cream packages from across the aisle start chanting your name. Between the swirls, sprinkles, candy-covered shells and cookie dough balls it feels like if you don’t open up the glass door and add one to your cart – you’ll be missing out on the party of a lifetime. You start to entertain the thought as you realize they’ve added even more candy bar ice cream boxes to the shelf when you suddenly snap into reality, walk back across the aisle, locate the vegetables, fill up your cart, and get the heck out of aisle 13.

For many of us semi-colons, and actually a lot of lactose intolerants, it’s hard to not join the party. Dairy is so good! That creamy milk softening your cereal, the hot stringy cheese covering the pizza, or the yummy ice cream making summertime memories is hard to pass up. But it seems like even the average person is developing a strong love/hate relationship with dairy these days. My husband has recently discovered he’s lactose intolerant thanks to Pizza Hut, and it seems like half of the kids I know these days cannot digest regular milk.

As a semi-colon, I can relate to having “issues” with dairy. Many of them fall into everyday lactose intolerance symptoms:  multiple bathroom trips, cramping, bloating, and Captain Uncomfortable: gas.  But as I’ve had more and more colon removed, I’ve had one big additional side effect from dairy consumption: burning.  I’m guessing the sensation can be similiar to grown-up diaper rash or just a hefty case of hemmoroids – but only while the dairy is in your GI tract. It seems to automatically go away once it’s in and out.

Despite all of these adverse effects, I’ve not vowed to give up dairy.  I love a good bowl of cereal way too much. Plus, we live within walking distance to this great little ice cream shop named Poppy’s and I have to take advantage of it. So while I’ve not cut out all dairy from my diet, I have learned how to live with it’s side effects and actually skip over a few of them. Here are some tips that I’ve found while eating dairy as a semi-colon. I’ll even throw in a few ones for you lactose intolerants too while I’m at it:

Overall:

  • Don’t overeat, and especially if you’re eating dairy. There’s something about packing your digestive system too full and then lacing dairy all the way through it that causes a nightmare. Try to have more of an empty stomach, or at least don’t be totally full, when eating dairy stuff. (or anything for that matter.)
  • Eat starch with dairy. If you are going to go for the big bowl of ice cream, eat something carb-based first. This will help line your stomach and GI tract so that the dairy isn’t shocking it, and give your GI something softer and easier to digest first.
  • For you lactose intolerants – Mike’s been using Lactaid tablets and taking one with his first bit of dairy-based foods. It’s helped a lot.

Milk tips:

  • Drink skim or low-fat milk. The whole, 2% milk can really throw me for a loop – and a bad one.
  • Speaking of lattes, I skip the whip and request the nonfat milk. The extra whipped cream on the top is unneeded calories and not worth it.
  • Soymilk doesn’t necessarilly make this better. I tried it. Might work for some, but didn’t for me.
  • Lactaid also makes a brand of milk for you guys who want to drink milk and are intolerant. I’m sure there are other brands coming out soon. There’s even lactose-free soy milk on the shelves.

Yogurt:

  • Yogurt is a mystery. Maybe if I understood the chemistry of food better I would understand. But yogurt doesn’t really seem to bother me or Mike.  I’ve even started going for the large tub of plain, vanilla yogurt and throwing cranberries into it. Oh so good. Mike’s a Yoplait fan and loves the berry flavors. It might give us a little bit of Captain Uncomfortable (gas), but no burning or bloating. Yay!
  • One tip if you go for yogurt – go for the most natural kind you can. There’s something about the blue stuff in tubes that doesn’t seem quite right.

Cheese:

  • Go easy on the cheese. I haven’t cut out cheese, but I opt-out of having cheese-dominated meals. This has been very hard because I love mac & cheese. I haven’t cut it out, just not made a meal out of it.
  • On pasta, I’ve had to do the same. I do opt for the fresh parmesean on the dish, but have had to not order the entrees that come blanketed with a warm layer of melted cheese.
  • One exception is pizza. I’ve started eating a lot of cheese pizza and it’s gone pretty well. I make sure to monitor the grease though and go for freshly-made pizzas when possible. The more saucy, tomato-based, the better (for  me the semi-colon.) Here are a few locations places in the KC-area that have not given me any issues with their pizzas (so far): Waldo Pizza, Spin! Pizza (their margherita pizza is out of this world), The Dish (in Liberty)
  • There is something about ricotta cheese that tears me up. Everytime. Just a warning for you.

Ice Cream:

  • And last but not least: ice cream!  Sometimes ice cream won’t be a problem, and other nights it’s a nightmare. Of course, frozen yogurt is always a healthier way to go.
  • Watch what you put on your ice cream, or the type of flavor. For me, the more pure and simple, the better. I’m going to handle a vanilla cone much better than I will a dish of ice cream with candy, chocolate and nut toppings.
  • I have found that ice cream is much easier to digest than custard.

So, those are a few tips for a consuming dairy as a semi-colon (or even dairy-sensitive person in general.) I know these won’t work and apply to everyone, but they’ve helped me and hopefully might be able to help you.

Can you relate? Leave a comment and tell us your own tips, or experiences with dairy, even if you’re not a semi-colon!

And stay tuned tomorrow for the Dairy Dilemma – Part 2 where I’ll share some research and facts I’ve learned about dairy that I think everyone needs to know.

November 16, 2009 at 5:02 pm Leave a comment

My Thanksgiving

I’ve eaten like crap all day. It’s not necessary causing a horrible day bathroom-wise, it’s just made me feel funny. Maybe just a little “off.” But some days, I need to do this. To remember I’m still human, and experience what I have to be thankful for.

In the season of Thanksgiving, I have much to appreciate. This entire year has been full of fear, suffering, pain and readjustment from a second colon surgery and second diagnosis of cancer. But looking at the experience that happened almost a year later, I am in a much better place than I ever thought I’d be.

I’m able to still enjoy life. I let myself heal after surgery for a few months and tried to keep my physical activity to a minimum and eat very little, bland food. But after awhile, I started feeling better.

I can once again eat the amazing onion rings at the cool bowling alley. I can visit “Kansas City’s Top Mexican Restaurant” and have a decent evening following the meal. I can go to boxing class again and run three miles. Sure, I’ve “gotta go” more than other people. But it’s so worth it now that I can finally live again.

There’s a lot of grumbling to be had when you’re a semi-colon. It does make life harder some days, and is a huge pain if you combine the wrong food with the wrong stress level on the wrong day. But other times, it’s really not so bad. And thankfully for me, those other times are becoming more frequent than not. And for that, I am very, very thankful.

November 13, 2009 at 9:26 pm 1 comment

Long Colons and Semi-Colons

Things people with long colons don’t think twice about:

  • Drinking a large Starbucks latte before boarding an airplane.
  • Ordering an extra side of beans with the Mexican entree.
  • Going for the grease-ball hamburger at lunch.
  • Doing sit-ups, squats and lunges over and over and over.
  • Cautiously eating Fiber One bars.

Things with people with semi-colons don’t think twice about:

  • Passing on the “camping in the woods” trip.
  • Paying extra for expensive toilet paper.
  • Cursing when a guest bathroom doesn’t have spray.
  • Changing a dirty diaper.
  • Cautiously eating Fiber One bars.

November 12, 2009 at 4:18 pm Leave a comment

The PET Scan Experience

Today’s story veers from a colon-specific tale, but deals with something many semi-colons face: PET scans. I receive these scans because my colon was removed due to cancer. Here was my experience yesterday…

“Danielle?”

The nurse called my name and I entered the Radiology door. She escorted me to a closet-sized room that was very medical-feeling except for one frame hanging on the wall displaying her certificate of completion for IV therapy. I felt relieved when I noticed she had 10 years of experience. Plus, her cheery uniform matched her happy personality and helped calm my anxiousness.

She explained the routine for the morning: IV, infusion, sit in the dark, scan.

“Oh, and do you want a blanket?” she asked.

“No thanks, I’m OK.” I said.

For reasons I don’t understand, they keep the infusion and scanning rooms very chilly. She handed me a waver to sign, acknowledging that I understood the chemicals injected into my body proposed threats of kidney failure, hives, cramping, nausea, growing three arms, etc. I prayed that I wouldn’t suffer from the rare complications and signed my life away. (Just kidding about the three arms thing… at least as far as I know.)

The Lord has blessed me with good veins, so the IV was no big deal. She gently inserted the needle and taped down the plastic device hanging out of my arm with sturdy tape. She left me to rest and passed the torch to the PET technician. He was a taller guy who you didn’t want to mess with, yet friendly at the same time. It must have been his green scrubs. My favorite color. He entered the room.

“Need a blanket?” he asked.

“No thanks, I’m good.” I said.

He walked to the back of the closet and opened a metal safe in the wall. The safe had some sort of radioactive needle logo on it that gave of the impression of  “CAUTION! THIS CONTAINS STUFF THAT IS EITHER DANGEROUS OR REALLY EXPENSIVE” on it. He pulled out a very thick, silver capsule that was sweating due to its cold temperature.

“This contains radioactive sugar isotopes,” he said.

“Great, I thought. Now I’m going to freaking glow.”

He proceeded to push the isotopes in the big, silver tube into my IV. I didn’t feel anything and in a few seconds, I started glowing! Just kidding, nothing happened.

“You sure you don’t need a blanket?” he asked again.

“I’m sure, I’m good.” I said. “Thanks though.”

He left the room and left me to marinate. For another reason I don’t understand, I had to sit in the dark once I received the injection for about 45 minutes. He was nice left the door cracked so I could read my book.

“Geez,” I thought. “It sure is nice when they remember what it feels like to be human.”

The 45 minutes went pretty fast thanks to my book.  After a while the isotopes had gotten to me and I thought my bladder was going to pop. Plus, it ran through my semi-colon quickly as well. I got permission from the cheery nurse in the colorful uniform to use the restroom. I slowly stepped into the hallway, wondering if I would shrivel up in the light like the Wicked Witch of the West, but soon realized I was fine. I headed down the hallway to save myself from damaging yet another important organ and give my bladder a rest.

I was greeted by the PET technician outside the bathroom door as I made my exit. He was ready for me. I entered the room to see a large scanning machine. I hopped up onto a narrow sliding tray that went all the way through the machine.

“You need a blanket now?” he asked again.

“Sure, I’ll take one this time.” I replied. It was the least I could do, I felt bad for saying no over and over.

He propped my head with a pillow and supported my slightly bent knees. To take friendliness up one notch further,  a serene photograph of leaves falling near creek was placed in lieu of a ceiling tile so his patients had something pretty to look at.  I was impressed.

The machine began to slowly move and I quickly shut my eyes and held them tightly. I’m not typically claustrophobic, but for some reason MRIs and PETs can give me the hibbies.

“Remember, you’re not strapped down. You could get out of this. You’re OK. Breathe deep,” I told myself as the machine turned on and the scan began. “All you have to do is lay still for 25 minutes, and then it’s over.”

I tried to picture myself in a playground tunnel, probably a bright red one. The red ones look the most fun. I imagined that I was running from “bad guys,” and that I had chosen to crawl into the middle of the tunnel to hide out. I even tried to convince myself I heard muffled voices from outside the tube as bad guys ran through the pea gravel looking for me.

That worked for a few minutes. For the rest of the time I prayed about everything I could think of to take my mind off the fact I was laying on a cold, skinny tray in the middle of a large, thick tube scanning my vital organs for any traces of radioactive sugar isotopes attached to cancer cells.

I began to hear movement in the scanning room and accidentally opened my eyes. To my surprise, I was on the other end of the tube.

“That was painless,” I thought.

“You’re all finished,” he said.

The technician removed the IV from my arm and told me I was good to go. I thanked him for being so kind. As I sat up, I made sure to leave the blanket on the tray. I gathered my things and headed back toward the Radiology door.

Later, I was thinking about how funny it was that they kept offering me a blanket even though I was wearing sweats and it finally dawned on me. Yes, it was really cold.  But in that moment, I saw life through their eyes. Seeing patient after patient worry in fear for their upcoming test as they put in IVs, watching them sit in dark closets and chase away anxieties, and directing them to lay still on a tray while you scan their bodies for cancer cells. A blanket was the only real way they could help and show they care.

I walked out of that clinic not knowing what my future held. PET scans are awesome because they detect cancer cells in your body. PET scans are scary though because they detect cancer cells in your body. I didn’t know how my results would end up. It could have gone either way. But even though the anxiousness started to creep back in, it didn’t matter. In that moment, I felt cared for. I appreciated my experience. I remembered the thoughtful staff members who offered hope in the midst of trial. And after a long day of testing, I was so thankful that I took the blanket.

November 11, 2009 at 8:37 pm 2 comments

My Mexican Emergency

It was a beautiful summer evening and my husband and I had just returned from dining on Kansas City’s Plaza. Earlier that day we filled up on yummy appetizers, tacos and drinks at Mi Cocina, the fancy Mexican restaurant in the area.

When we got home the temperature was perfect for a walk around our neighborhood with the dogs. We live in an old house from the 1920s and love walking the streets to see the other houses in the area, although it often makes us feel like the weakest link. Our neighbors have beautifully manicured lawns and perfect balls of hydrangeas blooming amidst their tailored flower gardens. We’re lucky to keep the red geraniums alive in our two planters stationed at the end of our walkway.

We strolled along our usual path and headed toward the downtown area. We walked past the tall, traditional churches, cute downtown stores selling fine home decor, and local restaurants. On this evening the weather was so gorgeous, we kept walking to see the even bigger, older houses on the other side of downtown. Our dogs were loving the extra long walk just as much as us two newlyweds who were swinging our folded hands, walking down white picket-fenced neighborhoods and taking in our little slice of the American dream.

As we got further and further away from home, my stomach began to grumble and growl. I kept going thinking that I could “walk it off,” but quickly learned my body wasn’t thanking me for a long walk and delicious food. It was getting ready to rebel. I felt my stomach drop and the unique sensation of knowing that everything I ate had entered my intestines. I mentioned to Mike, “I think I’ve got a problem,” and we started walking faster. All of the sudden I didn’t care one bit about the old houses’ beauty and instead wondered how many restrooms they had.

Although I’m pretty outgoing, I’m also a little shy. I wasn’t about to knock on a stranger’s door and ask to use their restroom. I didn’t have time to explain the “I have a short colon, I had cancer, I ate Mexican tonight” story to someone whose bathroom I was after. So we kept walking faster.

We neared downtown and realized that it was so late in the evening, all of the stores were closed. I began to panic at the thought of acting like a two-year-old and having an accident right in the middle of the street. Sweat rolled down my face as I remembered God’s promise of  “ask and you shall receive. ” I tried to ask nicely, but stressed that I needed a reply NOW.

In the midst of my mini-panic attack, I heard bells chiming from the baptist church behind me. We had married in their beautiful sanctuary and were previously involved in their young adult ministry which met in a small detached building near their back parking lot. Although we had switched churches a year ago, we looked at each other and wondered if the code to the door of the small building had remained the same.  We hurried to the building and Mike typed in the code as I praised God for his impeccable memory. I heard the door slide open. We quietly tip-toed into the building and located their restrooms. I ran into the womens’ restroom, saw there wasn’t any TP, and sprinted back into the hallway and into the mens’. Finally, my crisis was averted.

Needless to say, we never returned to Mi Cocina. It has actually gone out of business since our visit. Although my immediate emergency was blamed on my semi-colon, Mike also had issues that evening which led us to believe something was wrong with the food. We’ve since taken many walks, however not returned to the other side of downtown. Maybe one day we’ll get enough nerve to go back. And although we no longer attend the baptist church, we feel forever grateful and debted to them. We’re thankful for their detached building in the parking lot, and that they never change the code.

November 10, 2009 at 3:35 pm Leave a comment

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