Mike Here
Danielle is progressing well. Today she has already had clear liquids, put on real clothes and been down the hallway. Here are some pictures from the last 24 hours.
In Recovery
She just got out. In recovery. Everything went as planned. No visible issues in removed organs. PTL.
Hi Ho Hi Ho, Off to Surgery I Go
Well, the big day is almost here once again.
Nope, not getting married. Nope, not expecting another kiddo to arrive.
I’m headed to surgery once again.
Why This Surgery?
Last October when I met with my OBGYN/oncologist, we reviewed my charts and updates over the past several years. As we talked, I explained to her that genetic testing has shown that I more than likely have a variant of Lynch Syndrome. After my second diagnosis with colon cancer at 25, we requested gene testing once again only to realize that many of my genes behave in a way that’s very similar to others with the disease. I don’t have the “traditional form” of Lynch according to tests and my family history (I’m still the only one with young colon cancer diagnosis.) But, between complicated stuff about MLH1 and PMS2 genes – it’s likely that I have some form of Lynch. Thus, the young cases of colon cancer.
Thanks to the testing I know that in the future, my risk for other cancers, namely ovarian and uterine, are also very high… almost likely. So, my doctor didn’t mess around when she realized I had Lynch Syndrome. She knew we’d chosen adoption as our path to kids. So with that, she gave the hard recommendation that I go ahead and have a total hysterectomy. Even though I’m not even 30 yet. She didn’t push it on me right away, but said to look at my calendar and see if there was a “good” time to have this surgery done. And after several months of thinking about it and weighing the options, I decided to go ahead and do it.
Under The Knife Once Again
So, on this coming Tuesday I head under once again. I’m dragging my feet into this, but I know it’s something I need to do. The opportunity to stop cancer in its tracks and before it starts is why I’m doing this. Even if it does mean opening up my infamous long abdominal scar once again and putting me on a 6-8 week recovery plan. But, when I look at Mae, I know there’s really no other choice. I want to do all I can to stay around as long as I possibly can. So, off to surgery I go.
Unexpected Emotions
This has thrown quite a curve ball for me, since many unexpected (and honestly, many unwelcome) emotions have risen up. Maybe it’s because of counseling a few years ago, but suddenly I’m feeling the emotions that come with surgery and cancer threats. Or then again, this is the first time I’ve gone through anything like this as a mom – so that’s probably playing a part too.
Many thoughts, fears, realities, plans and “what ifs” have run through my mind this time…..
How do I line up childcare for Mae and arrangements for my small business?
Other surgeries haven’t been “easy” in the past – how long will I be out with this one?
How much extra can I work so that we can easily get that high deductible paid off?
How long will I really be recovering in the hospital?
By them “opening me up again,” will she find anything unexpected … like last time?
Will I have blood clots or problems with anesthesia this time?
How long will it take for my stomach to heal once again?
Will my past surgeries cause complications?
After surgery, what does menopause look like for me?
Will I be a sweat ball or hormonal wreck?
What are my risks of taking or not taking hormones?
And then again I too often camp on, “Why do I have to go through this in the first place?!?”
Coming to Terms
Typically, I’d tie up this post and show that there’s some peace and resolve that’s been found amidst life’s challenges. But today, I leave it at … I’m working on it. However, I knew a post was needed to get this off my chest. And, after looking through applications for other young colon cancer survivors for the 2013 Colondar this year – I know I’m not alone. Many others are being told they too have Lynch Syndrome. Many others will also face these hard decisions sooner than later.
Just pray for me Tuesday as surgery comes. Pray for a fast recovery. Pray this surgery STAYS preventative, and nothing else is found. And pray I’ll be back on my feet … and picking up my kid … in no time.
I’ll post when I’m back!
5 Random Things for Tonight
Wow, I blog nearly every day for a month and then nothing for two weeks. Sorry gang. And because it’s late and I’ve been at war with my intestines all night (I think they almost won… almost) – this is short and sweet. But for those who crave some Semicolon updates – here you go:
1. I did a Jillian Michaels workout DVD last week and couldn’t walk for about 2 days. So, I’ve not yet tried again. But I really need to get in shape again. Maybe I will in May.
2. Why May you ask? Well because my next surgery is planned and will be coming up here shortly. I’ll blog more about it later – I’m still going through the “processing… AKA crying in my car … phase.” For those out where who pray – it’s on Feb. 28th. I’d appreciate all that I can get right now. No worries though – it’s preventative because of Lynch Syndrome. No, cancer’s not back.
3. I let my daughter and my niece play with pinto beans today (not from a can- gross.) And I’m secretly hoping wondering if I’m going to see a little bean in her diaper tomorrow. Gross, I know, probably worse than if I would have let her play with canned pinto beans. But at least I’m honest.
4. I’ve had the busiest month or two lately and work’s been crazy. However, I still managed to read all 3 books of the Hunger Games trilogy. I cannot wait for the movies to come out. And I am on Team Gale.
5. I am now a member of the iPhone community and I cannot … absolutely cannot … stand Words with Friends. I DO NOT get it. Isn’t Scrabble long enough as-is? Why drag it out for days upon days? Hasn’t anyone ever played with a cheater as a kid? Why open yourself up to that nonsense? Just get the game over with for pete’s sake.
At least there’s still Angry Birds…
(I warned you that was random…)
– danielle out.
Got Beans? Well, I guess we'll see tomorrow... (Gross again I know. Sorry - it's a poop blog.)
January 31 – Mae Day | Mae’s Adotion Journey
The big day had finally arrived. I hadn’t had a stomach full of butterflies like this since my wedding day. Except a white dress and borrowed veil weren’t part of today’s show. Today was something special all in itself.
For three weeks, time had flown. We’d gone from thinking we might be parents within the year just 30 days before to waking up and preparing ourselves to be in family court, adopting a 4-month-old baby girl in just a few hours. “The Lord works in mysterious ways” didn’t even begin to cover it.
Once the day for court arrived, time couldn’t have gone any slower. Our court date was scheduled for the afternoon so we tried to stay busy with cleaning the house and watching TV. Weather warnings continued to flash; ice and snow were about to hit. We prayed that everyone would make it to court on time and safely. Luckily, the courts stayed open and cancelled only their evening cases.
Adoption Court
After a long morning of lounging, we finally got dressed and headed downtown. Not knowing if we needed to dress formally or casually we decided to look nice to hopefully make a good impression with the judge. We left the house very early, not wanting to get lost or held up in the process. Once we located the right building, we got coffee. Two swirled hearts in our cups by the barista sealed the deal. This was a day of love.
Once inside the court building we filed through the security checks and made our way to the large waiting room that sat outside of several doors leading to small courtrooms holding family court cases. It was nothing like we’d seen on TV. It wasn’t fancy or fun, just stale white walls and old ticking clocks. And lots of chairs and people sitting around.
Over the next hour, everyone managed to arrive on time and things went just as planned. We all had separate meetings with the judge and were pleased when our time went very quickly. We even had the baby in the courtroom with us. She sat perfectly in her car seat, charming the entire room. We were granted temporary custody and were instructed to return in six months to make the adoption final. Anything the judge or our lawyer said after that was history. She was all ours.
Announcing “It’s Final!”
We snapped a few pictures and carefully made our way back to the car, trying not to slip on the slick sidewalks. A slow, careful drive home gave me plenty of time to text our friends and family that “Mae Brooke Burgess” was on her way home. Finally we shared the name we’d chosen for her. Finally she could come home. It was time to celebrate.
Even with the bad weather, all of the grandparents were ready to come see the baby. We had an hour together as a family of three. Mike and I showed her around the house, introduced her to the dogs and spent time in her room. Once everyone arrived, a night full of snuggling and pictures followed. Everyone was full of love for our new addition.
When Mae began to get tired, the grandparents headed home. It was just the three of us once again. We took Mae up to her room and changed her into her PJs, starting her first bedtime routine. Because we wanted her to feel as comfortable as possible, we laid her in her pack-in-play bed from Uncle Nick’s house. Daddy snapped a picture. I leaned down and gave her a kiss. And with that, we said goodnight to our daughter for the first time.
Read Last Year’s “Mae Day” post.
A Year Later….
Thank you to everyone who’s been following Mae’s Adoption Journey over the past month. What a joy it’s been to re-live the story of one of the biggest miracles in our life. I still shake my head that we became parents in three weeks.
This year has been the highlight of our lives. Mae is a beautiful, charming little girl who has a charisma to her that I stand in awe of each day. She’s naturally joyful, smiling all the time, and brings a smile to my face just about every minute of each day.
I didn’t know what the future had for me eleven years ago when I found out I couldn’t have my own children due to my colon cancer. And while the road to get to this place certainly wasn’t easy or “speed-bump” free, I do praise the Lord for the grace He’s given us, and for bringing this angel into our world.
My prayer is that our story shows hope that the Lord’s plans are good (and they often look differently than our own.) He can bring hope to ANY situation. If you trust in Him and follow His leading, He will have amazing plans headed your way. You too will have your own personal “Mae Day.”
The law of the LORD is perfect, reviving the soul. The statutes of the LORD are trustworthy, making wise the simple.
Psalm 19:7
January 30 – Adoption-Eve | Mae’s Adoption Journey
Well, the big day was almost here. Threats of “snow-mageddon” flooded the news stations as a large snow and ice storm was about to hit Kansas City. We worried about the courts being cancelled with the bad weather forecasts coming in. We didn’t just have ourselves to worry about – we had to pray that our lawyer, our birth mom, her lawyer, Uncle Nick and the baby, our social worker from the agency and both Mike & I would all arrive safely to the courthouse. The thought of something not working out was overwhelming. So we did everything we could to take our minds off of it.
The Sunday Before…
Luckily, the day before our court date happened to be a Sunday. Sundays were very busy for us since I worked at the church and we led a group at our house on Sunday evenings. Plus, on this Sunday we also had a baby shower to attend. Our friends, Scott & Patti, who had been the ones to text us about this baby girl, were also in the adoption process with a little boy from Russia. They were awaiting a court date any minute and so friends threw them a shower to help them prepare. It was a great time of celebration. While at the shower, we noticed we were among several other adoptive families. And the reality that we were soon “joining the club” finally hit.
Adoption-Eve…
There’s nothing quite like going to bed the for last time as a non-parent. Excited anxieties raced through my mind. I wanted to get a deep sleep – who knew the last time I’d get to sleep through the night? I tried to gently slip into slumber but thoughts that a little baby would be sleeping in a room next to us in just one night kept me awake. I couldn’t believe it was real. I was nervous yet so excited. Just weeks earlier I had gone to bed, praying for God’s will to be done in our adoption process. I’d never realized how quickly we’d see His plan in action.
January 29 – “We’re Not Parents Yet” Weekend | Mae’s Adoption Journey
After a week of watching a baby, I was utterly exhausted. It wasn’t even as much of the physical demands as it was the change of pace. I was used to typing and writing – not reading board books, changing diapers, swaddling, swaying and all of the other stuff that comes with caring for an infant. But while my pace of life had been jolted all week, I certainly wasn’t complaining.
As the weekend came, we made plans to stay busy. Although I was so tired, we had to keep going to keep our mind off of things. Just three weeks ago a simple text changed our lives. Events hadn’t slowed down with anticipation of a birth mom meeting, decisions and waiting for a court date. Once that date was scheduled though, we experienced the longest week of our lives. Luckily, we could visit the baby as much as we wanted. My mom and friend Amy even snuck over to see her while we waited. But then it came again: a long weekend. So, we did what anyone would do who was about to become parents in two days: we ran ourselves ragged and hardly went home.
“We’re Not Parents Yet” Weekend
The weekend before our court date was one of the fastest, craziest weekends we’d ever had. We’ve always been social, but this weekend we turned it up a notch. Bowling with friends, Maverick’s hockey game, shopping, going out to eat – our Friday and Saturday was absolutely packed. But at least it helped the time go quickly.
Just a week earlier we had toasted to the thought that we’d be having our “Last Meal as Non-Parents,” yet that timeline soon changed when our court date was scheduled for a week later. So, we took the opportunity to get with as many friends as we could and do everything “fun” before a child entered our world. Because although we knew life would still go on even with a baby, we had no idea what was about to hit…
January 27 – Show and Tell | Mae’s Adoption Journey
I had been “babysitting” my future kid for several days. I’d been very used to being on-the-go all the time and working 40 hours/week away from the home. So, to have a week where I had “baby duty” each morning at 8am until the evening was a pretty big adjustment for me. Granted, I knew I needed to adjust quickly since that would be my everyday gig in just a few days, but it took baby steps to ease into it.
I tried to follow the rules and stay at Uncle Nick’s house each day. We were instructed to not have the baby come to our house before the court date. But on the third day or so, I started to get a little restless. And while I didn’t break the rules, let’s just say we took a little field trip.
Baby Show & Tell
My bud Leah didn’t live too far from Uncle Nick and so I texted her to see if she was home. I wanted to get out of the house, yet not take her to my house, so I compromised. Plus, she’d been having a rough week so I knew this would cheer her up. I finally got ahold of her and made sure it was OK if I stopped by for a second. She didn’t know that I’d have her with me that morning. Needless to say, her face was priceless when she saw me toting an infant carrier inside her house.
We hung out and she kept saying how beautiful and perfect our baby girl looked. I had also texted my friend and our pastor Orion to see if he was out and about. He made sure to find a way to come to Leah’s house when he realized I was out with the baby. So after a few minutes he showed up and met her too.
We didn’t stay long, but it was so fun to get out of the house and introduce her to a few special friends. Only a few more days and she was all ours…
January 25 – Babysitting My Future Kid | Mae’s Adoption Journey
There’s nothing quite like babysitting your future kid. Because Uncle Nick had to work and my job was flexible (and I’d already planned to be off the week with the unknown court date), I camped out as his house and took care of our baby girl until our court date. It was the perfect chance for me to “ease” into the mom thing since I’d never really cared for a baby before. I got to learn her schedule and her cries. I figured out how to measure formula and make a bottle. I conquered diaper changing. I read books. I practiced swaddling.
What was best of all was that she got to know me, too. So by the end of the day on Tuesday, we were buddies and she was smiling big.
Semicolon Stories 